Back On Track Chiropractic & Wellness Center

GETTING OLD IS NOT FOR SISSIES

Acupuncture Testimonial:

This is a letter I received from an acupuncture patient:

Eighteen months ago, I had what should have been a routine surgery for a torn meniscus. Unfortunately, it soon became clear that I was in a lot more pain after the surgery than I was before. The surgeon had damaged some nerves around my knee and they had formed a neuroma. I was not only in pain but also had a tight, heavy feeling around my knee and patches of partial numbness/tingling.

I tried EVERYTHING! I saw 4 doctors, tried several different medications, cortisone shots, topical creams and physical therapy. Nothing worked and some things even made it worse.

My lowest point was when a pain specialist tried a nerve block on my knee. My pain level doubled. The doctor told me that my knee was an “enigma” and no one knew why I was in so much pain. He then gave me a prescription for a controlled medication and sent me on my way. I had avoided taking pain killers up utnil that point and had no intention of starting now.

I started asking around about acupuncture and found that I knew quite a few people who had tried it and had good results.

My first appointment with Dr. Beth was amazing. I found it very calming and as soon as I got up from the table I could tell a huge difference. The relief I experienced was so much more than I could have even wished for. Dr. Beth even called me the next morning to check how I was feeling and if I had any questions.

I have had currently 3 sessions and am now experiencing long periods of complete pain relief. I only have one regret and that is that I didn’t try acupuncture a year ago.

JG, age 42, Birmingham

Getting Old Is Not For Sissies

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, ‘Are you having it catered’?

And that, my friend,

Is the definition of ‘OLD’!

~ ~ ~

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker

Came up to the very elderly widow and asked,

‘How old was your husband?’

’96,’ she replied: ‘Two years younger than me’

‘So you’re 98,’ the undertaker commented.

She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’

~ ~ ~

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

‘And what do you think is the best thing

About being 104?’ the reporter asked.

She simply replied,

‘No peer pressure.’

~ ~ ~

I’ve sure gotten old!

I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes

I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

Take 40 different medications that

Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation;

Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.

Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,

I still have my Alabama driver’s license.

~ ~ ~

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

So I got my doctor’s permission to

Join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour..

But, by the time I got my leotards on,

The class was over.

~ ~ ~

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and

Told her preacher she had two final requests.

First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,

She wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed. ‘Why Wal-Mart?’

‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.’

~ ~ ~

My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

~ ~ ~

Know how to prevent sagging?

Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

~ ~ ~

It’s scary when you start making the same noises

As your coffee maker.

~ ~ ~

These days about half the stuff

In my shopping cart says,

‘For fast relief.’

~ ~ ~

THE SENILITY PRAYER:

Grant me the senility to forget the people

I never liked anyway,

The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and

The eyesight to tell the difference.

~ ~ ~

Now, I think you’re supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!

~ ~ ~

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still fit
into the socks I wore in high school.

I would challenge you to a battle of wit, but I see you are unarmed.

William Shakespeare

Back On Track Chiropractic
3257 Cahaba Heights Road Birmingham, AL 35243
205-967-6776 | backontrackchiropractic@hotmail.com
www.drbeth.us

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